Press "Enter" to skip to content

Equal Opportunity Offender

Folks on the left and on the right are taking note of the creative liberties taken by Sridhar Pappu, a reporter – and I use that term loosely – for the Washington Post.

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

At 9 a.m. on the very edge of the dusty, desolate collection of adobe homes and Vietnamese restaurants that seem to form this city, David Iglesias begins his run through the foothills of the Sandia Mountains.

Ok, that is without a doubt one of the most bizarre descriptions I’ve ever heard of Albuquerque. But, Mr. Pappu’s creativity only improves as the story continues:

Back home, [David Iglesias] told his wife, Cyndy, and his shock became hers. For weeks she sat with him in their backyard hot tub, trying to retrace the steps.

And here I thought it was inadvisable to sit in a hot tub for more than ten minutes. Imagine it, these folks sat for weeks in their backyard hot tub. This might very well explain the hallucinations Mr. Iglesias has seemingly begun to endure. Weeks in a hot tub undoubtedly affects not only the skin, but the mind.

Now a “disaffected Republican,” Iglesias continues to support all the articles of modern Republican faith.

“Republican faith?” Whoa, when did this become a religion? Does this mean that my contributions are now deductible as a charitable contribution?

But, my favorite part of this whole story is:

“I’ve seen how Democrats have really reached out and helped me,” Iglesias says. “This whole scandal has really made me appreciate different people more. The people who stuck it to me are people who share [the same values]. The people who have helped me — the Schumers, the Leahys, the Feinsteins — have value systems different than mine.”

No Mr. Iglesias, I’d say those people have value systems very much like yours.